It’s that time of year again. You know what time I’m talking about. New Year, New You. You’ve said to yourself that 2022 is the year. I can feel it. This is the year where you and everything around you change for the better. It’s the year where you finally lose the weight, meet the person, get the position, finish the degree, deal with the trauma drama from the past. There’s just one thing standing in your way. Can you guess what it is? It’s not your boss, job, parents, or spouse. Oftentimes, we spend too much time and energy focused on our external circumstances. We pray, listen to podcasts, and watch videos. We spend the year making tons of effort to change our external circumstances only to end the year having made little to no progress. If you haven’t guessed the answer to the question above regarding what’s standing in your way, it’s you. Many times, we stand in our own way, and we hinder our own progress. Hear me out for a second before thinking I’m wrong for writing this.
Yes, I know trauma from the past is real, and must be dealt with. I know interpersonal relationships with family, friends, and lovers can be frustrating. I know you want to be more stable financially and feel and look better physically. I’m not saying don’t give attention and effort to the desired changes you want to make in your life. What I’m saying is instead of only focusing on the external changes and what’s wrong with everyone else, start focusing on the internal changes you need to make. Turn your gaze inward. Who do you need to forgive, what suppressed memory do you need to revisit to heal, what insecurity or fear do you need to face, what negative thoughts do you need to replace, what patterns of behavior do you need to change?
Every aspiration you have to better your life is awesome and amazing. I encourage you to dream big and work towards your goals. However, once you attain it are you able to maintain it? For example, you may diet for six months and finally lose the weight. Now you can finally wear that dress you have hung up. But during the time of dieting are you learning about nutrition and exercise, or are you just trying to lose the weight for the summertime? You may finally meet the person you’ve been praying for. However, have you developed emotional stability, do you know your value, your worth, can you be committed and faithful to one person? Imagine, what if you do you get the position and the raise. Have you developed the work ethic, and personal responsibility and accountability to excel in the position and lead others?
I do believe this year will be better than the years prior. It’s not going to be better by simply saying it, or because we have our colorful vision boards on the wall. The only way this year will be better for you is if you make the decision to turn your gaze inward and change from within. We can’t heal and grow in what we don’t acknowledge. This week, take some time to journal and reflect on the things you have been trying to ignore about yourself. It may be ugly, but it’s your truth. Pray and invite God into this time. You can start by saying…Lord, what do I need to change, what do I need to work on? If you wait long enough, I’m confident the answers will come to you.
Wow this is sooo sobering. Often times we turn our attention to our surroundings, our environment and everything else around us but ourselves. I’m guilty of this at times. But what if we “turned our gaze inward,” and examined ourselves? I love that.
Whew! This really resonates with me. I was talking to some friends about how empty vision boards could be if it’s just an arts and craft project. This blog was right on the money for what I was trying to convey! I really want to spend time working on myself this year.
Thanks for saying what we all are thinking. These were key points on the things we have to face in order to achieve all those things we aspire to be this year. Face our own personal issues and hold ourselves accountable. Get Out your own way. Well said.
I think God for you this is not just a message but a revelation because we only have control over ourselves these other things are needful bul our inner strength is more important. God bless you
Well said! Couldn’t agree more, thank you for sharing this encouraging piece!
Everything in this post was so relatable! It’s important that we look inward regarding the changes we need to make and implement in our lives. Not only do we need to look inward, we have to seek the source which is God! I feel inspired to journal and put your advice to the test! I will start by asking God what I need to change!
Lady….I will not debate you on any of this, LOL! This was a session all by itself for me. You presented the scenario, the problem (whether we realize it or not) and the solution. What was really interesting though….you actually identified some ROOT causes of issues that are often overlooked. I believe we will never change our thoughts and behaviors until we address the root cause. I really enjoyed reading this and I am looking forward to a session 😉
This was a really good article and great reminder that all things starts with You . Doing the inner work first , to achieve your goals. It was great reminder for me too, with my goals I am trying to reach .
Thank you so much for that encouragement in this blog! You are right. It is quite often that when we decide to make a change without first changing ourselves. Change is definitely not an event, but a process. In order to stay disciplined through the long haul of that process, one cannot go in the same person or else they will revert back to the same old habits. Anybody can change a behavior for a few days, but to make a lifestyle change takes deeper reflection, thought, and confrontation of the mess that may be in ones heart. I think after the asking God “what do I need to change, what do I need to work on?” One should then ask God and themselves, “why is it really that I do the behaviors that I don’t want to do? and what is really required in me to do the changes I want to do?
I love this blog and absolutely agree! I didn’t start experiencing true healing, freedom, Joy and emotional stability until I was able to acknowledge that I was the one standing in my own way and started the process of focusing on my internal healing journey through the help of my amazing Heavenly Father and my amazing counselor.
Thank you for this reminder Jasmine! It is much easier to shift responsibility anywhere else but ourselves when it comes to defining why a goal is not met.
You remind me that lasting change happens when I take responsibility for my inner thoughts and focus or remapping my mental narrative!